Birthday Girl

Maia,

It is a common misconception -- possibly an outright lie--that you love your baby the moment she is born. There IS something profound in those first few days, but I don't think I can call it love. It is a feeling of responsibility, devotion and triumph... but not love. LOVE takes time.

For me, it all started when you needed help getting to sleep those nights and days before you had a real sleep schedule. You would wake up and I would hand you over to Mom for a warm, cuddly nurse. Then, we would go downstairs and sit in the chair. I would play the "Canções de Ninar" CD that Lu's family gave us and rock you to sleep. By the 6th or 7th song, you would fall asleep and I would CAREFULLY bring you back upstairs to your bassinet. Your warmth and cooing in my arms began the bond which grew exponentially from there.

There was the first smile you ever gave me. When I walked into the room, you grinned from ear to ear (much like your mother's smile) and shook your appendages with glee. Shortly after that, you started falling asleep on me randomly (not just when I was trying to get you to sleep), as if you knew you were in a safe and comforting place. Your arms stretched widely across my chest and your small rib cage bounced up and down with your breath.

I remember your first giggles. We were roughhousing a bit and I tickled your tummy. We all heard your real laugh for the first time. I still smile every day that I hear it. It has become much stronger and full of energy since then.

The bond you have with your mother is also something to note. You nurse with such great pleasure -- as if spending that time with Mom is the greatest part of your day. I love that about you. You really know how to connect with your family!

I think this is because you show such amazing empathy towards others. I have seen you look worriedly when other babies have hurt themselves or are crying. You hug and kiss the things in your life in which you have a connection: Mom, Me, other babies, the dogs, your dolls and stuffed animals (never mind the sack of potatoes Auntie Jo saw you kiss). When you play with toys, you are always eager to share them with us. Of your first 4 words, "Hi" and "Thank You" were two of them. I think this is very telling of your personality. You seem to care about connecting with others.

I also love the way you love to play with and read your books. I am sure this is mostly due to your mother's life-long fascination with them, but it has really rubbed off on you. Lately, as you have gotten older, we can sit together and read several books in a row. You stay focused and interested the entire time. Some of the most recent pictures we have taken are of you sitting at your table, reading a book by yourself. I can see an amazing brain inside your head and I cannot wait to see what you are capable of.

Of course, it wasn't ALL easy. I still have to get up several times in the night to help you get back to sleep or nurse with Mom. Your unwillingness to sleep sometimes frustrates me terribly. Watching after you can be physically draining and tiring. BUT, this past year has made me realize what it is really like to feel unconditional love. This love wasn't automatic or obligatory. It has been built from my interactions and care for you. Just last night, due to your molar pain, I got up about 15 times to help you get to sleep. In the morning, I woke up lethargic with a headache. When Mom brought you to me, you smiled and reached your arms towards me. The frustration of the night was erased by your adorable excitement to see us in the morning.

As we start our next year as a family, your mother and I are so excited to see you you develop into a talking, thinking, waking kid. You will begin to develop interests and continue developing your opinions. Your personality will blossom and we will be there to see it happen.

You are a beautiful girl, Maia. I love you. Happy Birthday.
Dad