Eli doesn't sleep for long periods of time. There it is. We've gotten a couple of stretches of time longer than four hours ... but he'll be five months old tomorrow. A couple of times in five months does not a pattern make. So, needless to say, I'm struggling with some significant fatigue and a big sleep deficit more days than not. This week, Tuesday was particularly challenging to get through, because his sleep was really interrupted the night before; he slept for 1-2 hours at a time, and it was pretty fitful and didn't seem very restful for him, either.
I know he's teething. He already has two teeth in, and I'm sure that more are coming soon.
Here's the thing about our dude, though: he is a ridiculously happy baby. He really seems to relish life, to get a monstrous kick out of the whole process of being alive, even in the middle of the night. His huge blue eyes open up wide at 4:00 AM to take-in the dark room around him, and, if he's sleeping in his bedside bassinet, he kicks the mattress so hard with excitement and joy when I appear in his field of vision that the whole bassinet shakes. He yelps and screeches and squeaks with joy! We're sometimes worried that he'll wake up Maia, even with two closed doors and a hallway between us.
If he's sleeping cuddled in my arms and starts to stir and wake, by the time I get my eyes open he's often staring at me from a few inches away with a huge grin on his face--and then he'll SCREECH! and smile and fling his arms around. :)
Our best quiet talks are during our nighttime nursing sessions; he'll take a break from nursing and just talk for a bit, using his drawn-out vowel sounds and a lower, more restrained tone of voice (after the gleeful yells have subsided).
So, yes, as the title of this post indicates, I hit a bit of a wall this week with my level of fatigue--I had some trouble putting sentences together on Tuesday, and I'm grateful for a light teaching load this week. Perhaps Eli will sleep for longer periods of time when he starts eating solids in the next couple of months, perhaps he won't ... I don't know. I'm grateful for my body's ability to continue to produce enough milk to keep Mr. Eeez healthy and growing and happy, and I imagine our frequent nighttime nursings might have something to do with that. If the trade-off was more sleep but needing to use formula? Personally, that's not a trade that I'd want to make.
There's lots to balance, lots to keep in mind--and Brian's been amazing at supporting me and helping me out by doing Maia's morning routine to buy me an extra 30 minutes or 60 minutes of sleep here and there. I'm up now, and it's 9:40 PM, and I'm able to type coherently and keep my eyes open, and so I'd say that today has been better! :) We'll see what tonight brings.
2 comments:
I am right there with you. Eben is 5.5 mos and only sleeping 3 hour stretches, although lately it's been 1-2 with long (2-3 hour) stretches of wide awake-ness in the middle of the night. He has significant allergy issues which may very well be contributing, who knows. And we do supplement with formula at night, so that's not a magic bullet, I'm sad (and tired) to say.
This is all made more psychologically difficult because our first child slept 8-4 by 8 weeks. She was a strangely good sleeper!
Anyhow, I feel you. It's hard!
Sending a hug through the wires. Anything I could type here would be stuff you're saying to yourself, so I won't even try.
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