Nursing in public

There's been another mini-uproar in breastfeeding activism circles this month over Facebook's decision to delete (yet again) group or member profiles that host photos of moms breastfeeding their children.

In response to this recurring situation, one blogger wrote this post in response; apparently, the version of this post that appeared on her own FB page was deleted, too, and then reinstated. Clearly, Facebook's powers-that-be are pretty confused about what to do with images of nursing moms and kids.

On a monthly basis, we read news stories about moms across the country who nurse in public and then are asked to leave all sorts of places--Target, schools, mall food courts, swimming pools, etc. While this certainly isn't one of our most pressing social issues--far from it--I'd say that it can feel personally significant to millions of new moms out there with babies that want to eat every three hours at the outside. And because this blog of mine is largely about my journey through life as a parent (among other things) and I have one of those frequently-eating babies, I figure this is as good a space as any to vent a bit on this topic. :) Yeah, this is a venting post.

I suppose one could say I'm a small-time activist on this issue, because it consistently infuriates me, and because I feel I can actually make an impact via ordinary, daily behavior. What is that behavior? First and foremost, I nurse in public whenever Eli asks, and I don't cover up with a blanket or cover or what have you. I am comfortable and content with both the manner and frequency of my public nursing, and so I'm happy to take on this role. (Let me be clear: I am NOT meaning to imply that all nursing moms need to do this--if you're not comfortable with it, then, by all means, do what makes you feel comfortable.)

One of my favorite lines from the above-linked "Seeing Breastfeeding" blog post is this: "While you, personally, may have your own code of "decency" for how much skin YOU are comfortable showing while breastfeeding, it is important that you do not impose your own, completely arbitrary line drawn in the sand regarding 'modesty' or 'discreetness', onto any other breastfeeding mother. Period." I think this line hits the nail on the head--lots of nursing moms out there, every day, are approached by people who say the moms are being "indiscreet" because they happen to be nursing in public, nursing without a cover, nursing an older baby or child, whatever--they are called "indiscreet" because they are doing something that the other person wouldn't be comfortable doing.

Let me say this: if you don't like the amount of skin a mom may or may not be showing while she feeds her child, it is YOUR issue. It is not hers. Take note of your discomfort if you must, look away, and keep your mouth shut and your glares to yourself.

Please, world, don't ask a nursing mom to do anything you wouldn't ask a bottle-feeding mom to do. Would you ask a bottle-feeding mom to cover up? No. Would you ask a bottle-feeding mom to go feed baby in a bathroom? No. Would you ask a bottle-feeding mom to ignore baby, let baby cry, and wait to feed him or her until you get home? No. So please, don't do it to a breastfeeding mom either. And, dear Facebook: if you're not going to delete photos of moms feeding bottles to their babies, then please keep your digital mitts off of all photos of babies eating, OK?

The Centers for Disease Control publish breastfeeding "Report Cards" on a yearly basis, and our numbers don't look too hot. Here are the data from babies born in 2007; Michigan's percentage of babies who are getting any breast milk at all at six months is somewhere between 30-39%. That is well below the minimum recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics--they recommend that babies be breastfed exclusively (no formula) for six months. I'd hazard a guess that among those millions of mother/baby pairs who don't exclusively breastfeed to six months are many millions who wished that they could have. (Again, this post is not about the moms who chose to stop nursing--for whatever reason--but rather those who felt pressured to and those who "stopped making milk" and had to supplement but weren't happy about it.) We all know that there are many factors that are contributing to these rather dismal breastfeeding rates, and even the CDC knows that an unfriendly national attitude towards public nursing is one of them. Surely we can agree that it's not biological; if it was a biological norm for most of our bodies (about 87% in the U.S., to use 2007 numbers) to stop making sufficient milk when our babies are just months old, our species would have gone extinct.

The U.S. is very confused about breastfeeding. We say "breast is best" or "breast is normal" and then do very little to support actual breastfeeding moms. Rather than direct our frustration outward at structural problems--family-unfriendly workplaces, no protections for pumping and nursing-in-public moms, lousy birth practices--we pick at each other. We take photos off of Facebook and tell everyday strangers to go and hide out in bathrooms with their children.

Sigh.

/rant.