The Big 3-2

Happy Birthday to me! I've always liked the number 32 (probably because it was Magic Johnson's number? Perhaps that's the origin), and so it's cool to be this age. I've really enjoyed my 30s thus far, and so it's always fun to welcome in a new year that I'm really looking forward to.

Things to check of my to-do list for my birthday Monday:

• Finish the State of Michigan licensing paperwork for a "family child care home" and get it into the mail, if possible.
• Get organized for and teach week three of a six-week childbirth class tonight. Topics tonight: the pushing stage of labor, watching a birth story film, and LOTS of labor position practice.
• Lunch with Maia and Brian.
• Eagerly awaiting the start of labor with my current client! :)
• Reading a chapter or two of my book, 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus (an outstanding book, if you ask me!).
• Getting my free 1/2 dozen birthday bagels from Zingerman's.
• Enjoy the beautiful weather outside with Maia after we have lunch with Brian. Maybe we'll go to Gallup Park or go to campus to watch students and parents wandering around, buying textbooks, and unpacking. (Move-in for the U's residence halls starts officially tomorrow, but you can tell that it's already begun for off-campus locations.) How do I know that I'm an Ann Arbor townie now? I'm calling my alma mater "the U".
• Just generally enjoy the little minutiae of life as much as I can. Fall is coming, and it's my favorite season, so I have so much to look forward to in these next couple of months!

It's a bit odd to be coming to the start of an academic year yet again without going into a classroom of some sort. For me, for much of my life, September has felt like the New Year (Rosh Hashanah always felt like the right time of year for a New Year's celebration), because it's the time that I enter a new year of my life as well as start the academic calendar all over again.

But now, as I'm home here with Maia, there aren't these significant markers of the beginning of the academic year. I'm not going to start a year in a classroom (either as a student or a teacher), but I'm aware that so many people around me are. So, I guess there's a bit of sadness mixed-in with the happiness of this time of year, because I do so love working in the schools, from K all the way to graduate school. :)

But, as always, I remind myself of how priorities shift throughout different phases of our lives, and how that means that life just feels different when our priorities readjust. In a few short years, I'll live the rhythms of the academic calendar again, and I know in my heart that I won't have even a molecule of regret over this time that I've been home with Maia.

Happy

Just now, as Maia was having her last nurse for the day (which she calls "Nock" or sometimes "Nock-uh"), she looked up at me, stopped nursing, and whispered "Maia happy." Then, with a bit more volume to her voice, she said "Mama happy, Dada happy . . . doggies, too." Then, finally, for the last bit of emphasis, she said "Both doggies!"

Wow.

New things to say

Upon seeing the Goodyear blimp hovering above Michigan's campus today, Maia says "Airplane bus!"

Stemming from her recent obsession with horses--which Nana Dawn has encouraged by supplying her with a couple of horse picture books--Maia's now talking about the "horse riding hat," the "BIIIIIIG horses!" (with her arms held up high), and she's regularly using the singular and plural forms of the noun "horse" accurately.

Things she's trying to get the hang of:

• numbers and counting
• singular and plural
• the gerund form of verbs (-ing)

We're BAAAACK!

From Charlevoix

Hey. It's Saturday, and we returned from our vacation at Lake Charlevoix at about 6:00 this evening. We are collectively exhausted, in a very good way.

It was a wonderful week. The weather was deliciously sunny and beautiful the entire time, the cottage was just great (again, a million thanks to Mom and Dad H.), and all three of us knocked several things off of our respective "what I want to do on vacation" lists.

• Brian sailed the boat every day. Even on the really windy day...that was an adventure across the lake with Aunt/Sis Katie!
• I re-read The Fellowship of the Ring.
• Maia swam in Lake Charlevoix every day, and even took a couple of dips in Lake Michigan, thanks to Papa Stan in particular.
• Lots of ice cream was consumed in downtown Charlevoix and Boyne City.
• Lots of S'Mores were consumed on our cottage lawn.
• I went swimming in Lake Charlevoix almost every day, and got more of a suntan than I've had in a decade. It was wonderful!
  
• Maia learned several new phrases: "car boat" (the Ironton Ferry), "Nuts! House fall down!" (what to say when your sand castle doesn't stick together), "One...two...three...throw rock!" (what to say when throwing countless rocks in the lake).
• Maia spent tons of time with her Aunties Jo and Katie, who are moving to their respective East Coast cities before the end of this month. Maia became very fond of giving Katie and "Jo Jo" affectionate fist bumps throughout the week.

We'll write more about this all, I'm sure. But we're tired now, and it's time for bed.

Take a peek at our enormous Charlevoix photo album at the usual site!

Our birth story

I know it has been almost 19 months since the day Maia was born, but our official birth story has been published. Lamaze asked me to write the birth story from my point of view for a "Dad's Page" of resources. I wrote "The Birth" story where the "Postpartum Thoughts" section was transposed from an interview I did with the woman who put the site together.

Enjoy: Our Birth Story

Wow!

This article is in today's Ann Arbor News, and it's all about the birth of our friends' second child. Many of our loyal blog readers have met Jen and Steve C. along the way . . . how's this for a birth story??!! Pretty amazing. Congratulations to Jen, Steve, Rachel and Maeve!

Counting down.

We're leaving for vacation in five days, and we're so excited we can barely stand it. Brian, in particular, is probably not far from counting the actual minutes before we arrive at the place on Lake Charlevoix.

What's included in our plans:

1) oodles of time outdoors
2) sailing
3) swimming
4) S'Mores and wine by the fire after the sun sets
5) time with my sisters who live WAAAAY too far away
6) a couple of jaunts into Charlevoix and Boyne City
7) Maia's first swim in our wonderful Great Lakes
8) a meal and drinks on the patio at Chester's Landing
9) the Ironton ferry
10) reading two or three books during the week
11) no TV
12) a change of scenery
13) conversation, conversation, conversation . . .

We can't wait. Can we express how much we appreciate Nana Dawn and Papa Stan for giving our family this opportunity? I don't think so.

Maia's current obsessions.

1. Her "owies." Maia, being a walking, climbing toddler, frequently bears the marks of a skinned knee or two. These are her precious "owies" (along with a now-nonexistent pinch mark on the palm of her hand), and at least a few times a day she'll ask her adults to kiss them. She'll make the request with a bit of a whine in her voice, but once the owies have been kissed, everything is better! I haven't yet figured out what brings this idea up in her mind . . . I need to pay more attention to that.
2. Boats, buses, trucks, construction vehicles, airplanes . . . she's into things with engines that she can see moving through her world. We got her a book containing pages upon pages of these things, and it's her current favorite. Here are some specific things that she's identified in the book: Mama car (small and red; also known as "Maia car"), Dada car (station wagon), Papa car (silver van), big trucks (throughout), airplane, sailboat, and Maia boat (another name for the sailboats). I'm particularly fond of how she says the two-syllable words "airplane" and "sailboat."
3. Blueberries. The Hecker side of the family will probably be amused by this, because they were my favorite fruit (to put it mildly) as a kid. They still are. One of my favorite baby pictures of myself is a shot of a little (bald?) me, opening up the refrigerator door to eat the blueberries inside. If I remember correctly, they're all over my face in the photo.
   

Busy, busy

Just a quick post to keep track of our comings and goings. Maia is asleep right now a bit later than usual; we spent the morning in East Lansing and Lansing, with the main objective of visiting Maia's Great-Nannie in the hospital. We also visited Nana Dawn's office, and shared a lunch with Nana and Papa before leaving to return home.

It's Ann Arbor Art Fair time, so we're avoiding downtown but still squeezing in as many visits to the Kerrytown area (no art there!) and our oodles of parks as much as we can. Just yesterday, Maia went to Kerrytown (AM coffee for me is a must), then to County Farm Park with Nana Dawn (while I taught a class), and then to our neighborhood park immediately down the street. It was a busy day, but in a good way--all the time outside is giving Maia a slight tan on her arms and legs, which I always consider a sign of a summer well-spent. :)

It's going to be nasty hot for the rest of this week, and I've never been terribly fond of hot weather. As I've explained before, I've had to change my habits somewhat in order to give Maia the fresh air and time outdoors that she needs. I'm dressing in cooler clothes (tank tops, shorts, and a couple of dresses, rather than the ubiquitous capri pants), and adjusting our AC to maintain the house at about 80 degrees rather than 70-ish has helped make the outside heat and humiditiy less of a shock to the system. It's about 90 degrees here today and is going to be at least that through the end of the week, so, while I'm not thrilled that the AC is running, I hope to moderate it somewhat by running it less intensely and spending as much time outdoors as we can.

This has been one of the notable ways that being a parent has changed an aspect of how I live. While I could have predicted some of the other changes (interrupted sleep, changed eating habits, etc.), this one has been a surprise to me. But Maia really does seem to need it, being the energetic, curious, persistent, always-in-motion kid that she is. Plus, our "no TV before Maia is two" rule certainly makes it challenging to find enough things to do inside the house to fill up a day! (We stick to that one quite consistently, and to us it means that we don't have a TV on in the house while she's awake, even if she's not actually watching it.)

Maia's Brain

As of late, Monday night has been swim night for Maia and I while Cara teaches. Last night, before swimming, Maia surprised me.

We were out on the driveway playing with her new sidewalk chalk when I asked her "Maia, would you like to go swimming?" She shot her hands up in the air (like she often does when she is excited) and said "Swimming, Yeah!" which sounds more like "Dooey, Yeah". She stood up, grabbed her sidewalk chalk and made for the front door of the house.

I decided to see where she would take herself. I opened the door for her and followed her as she went upstairs. I continued to follow her into her room where she proceeded to walk towards her changing table. At the changing table, she opened one of the drawers, reached into the top shelf and pulled one of her swimming diapers out. She placed it in my hand and repeated "Swimming, Yeah!".

This surprised me for a number of reasons. First, she has the brain power to know what logistics are required to go swimming -- we have to get her into a swimming diaper and into a swim suit before we go to the pool. She also knew where to find the swimming diapers, which she never has a clear view when I put them on her -- she is on top of the table when I take them out of the door.

This type of thing has been happening a lot lately. For instance, I asked Maia how many pacifiers she wanted before going to bed tonight. She thought for a moment and said "Two Pacis!" (she is used to going to bed with three). I gave her two pacifiers and she went to bed.

Last night, it was time for a snack. I asked her if she would go to her high chair. She did as I asked, and proceeded to climb herself into the chair! All by herself!

This type of brain development is just amazing to me. Imagine if you are trying to learn a new skill (Judo, for example). That skill requires you to learn both mentally and physically. You practice, practice, practice and get better over time. Now, imagine your brain is gaining new "powers". You are getting stronger both mentally and physically... kind of like a superhero. The next thing you know, your judo skills are black-belt and you didn't really need to try that hard. I think that is what it is like to be a toddler.

Photos from this weekend.

Just a quick post to let our loyal readers know that we've added a small photo album from our visit to Portage this weekend (Maia's Great-Grandparents are in the state, visiting from Arizona). As always, the pictures are at the usual photo site.

From Portage visit

Yay, us!

With some focus, effort, and thought, our energy bill this month was half the amount of the previous month! Yay!

So, particularly to Auntie Jo: the Roman strategy works, to a large degree, even here in Michigan, even with our suburban-style buildings. Thanks for the idea, and for the encouragement. :)

It's going to be about 90-degrees today, and humid as always. The fans are running this morning already, the shades are drawn, and I would LOVE it if I didn't feel the need to turn on the AC.

Overheard

(Lots of posts lately. Our lives are full!)

Jen asks Harper if she wouldn't mind sharing a few pieces of her cereal (contained in a Ziploc bag).

• Harper is more than happy to share, and gives Maia a piece or two.
• Maia: "Thank you." (Which sounds like "duh-doo" at the moment.) Then, after a couple seconds of chewing, Maia says "More."
• Harper looks thoughtful, repeats "more," and gives Maia another piece.
• Maia, again: "Thank you." Then, again, "More."

You get the pattern. :) They're talking to each other these days, and they're able to communicate. How extremely cool is that?!

Take a deep breath . . .

. . . and recognize the beautiful moments when they come. The sun is filtering in through the blinds at the front of our house, I have a great cup of coffee in my favorite mug, a great book to read, and I'm listening to some lovely music (Vusi Mahlasela). Maia will wake up soon, but these moments belong to me.

An update from Dad

I (Brian) haven't written in a while, so I thought I would piggy-back on top of Cara's recent post about language.

Life in our house has been exciting lately. With Maia's new cognitive skills and her ever-increasing agility, we have really gotten to enjoy participating in activities with her. Although it can be challenging at times -- Maia climbs and squeezes her way into all sorts of places now -- she is developing into a real person with real emotions.

During the week, I often get up and go to work before she wakes up. Sometimes, she wakes up before I leave and I help out with breakfast or changing. I try to get home before 5:00 and spend the rest of the evening with Cara and Maia. On evenings when Cara works, Maia and I usually take a bike ride to the book store or to the park. Monday nights, we have swimming lessons.

I help get Maia to bed by 8:00 or 8:30, help straighten up the house (we cook all dinners from scratch), and it is back to work for me. I have a laptop and work has been demanding lately, so when Maia sleeps, I work.

Weekends are very similar to the weekday pattern, but I don't work as much and I spend more time with Cara and Maia. We usually see at least one set of friends every weekend and get downtown at least twice.

Something that is different lately is our attempt at night weaning. Cara and I have realized that our interrupted nights of sleep for the past 18 months have started to wear us down. We are often more tired than we should be. Because of this, we have decided to night wean. Night weaning is the process of weaning for night time only. Maia will still continue to nurse during the day.

We have only been doing this for two nights lately, but this exercise really shows how developed Maia's emotions have become. I see many emotions ranging from happiness to closeness to anger. She is not used to being denied "Mama Milk" so this has been confusing for her. In the last two nights, we have spent at least an hour each night calmly explaining to her that milk is for the day time, and it is time to go "night night". Eventually, she understands and goes back to sleep.

We are using a modified version of Jay Gordon's method for night weaning. The idea is that you never let the child "cry it out", but instead talk with her and do your best to let her know that you are there for her... just not for milk. It will be some time before we know for sure how this method works, but it seems to be a rather humane way of going about it.

Cara and I went in to this knowing what was in store for us, so our attitudes (thus far) have been very positive, even when we are pining for sleep.

What am I doing right now?

It might sound like an odd way to spend my time, but I love updating Maia's dictionary! We keep a little notebook full of her words and phrases, and I really enjoy taking a couple of moments every day to add words into its pages. I'd hazard a guess that this habit of mine is persisting because of my decades-long (wow! I'm old!) interest in language in general, and my newer interest in language development in children. I just love how Maia's emphasis shifts from one category of words, one phoneme, one phrase structure to the next.

As of today, she has 176 words in her dictionary. It seems that she's moving on to thinking about colors and numbers these days, and also focusing on the /k/ sound. The following few words have recently obtained a distinct final /k/: walk, duck, truck, and milk. She correctly identifies blue, green and red things now (much of the time, but not always), and says the numbers "two" and "three," although she might not use those accurately.

Here's how her language has progressed over the months:

• By 12 months, she was using 12 words (verbal and signs), including "Mama" and "Dada" (which, apparently, speech/language experts don't really count like other words when it comes to infant/toddler speech. Interesting.)
• By 13 months, she had about 30
• 14 months, about 50
• 15 months, about 65
• 16 months, about 100
• 17 months, about 130
• 18 months (well, as of today), 176

A busy weekend!

We had a wonderful, busy, beautiful holiday weekend. We filled up our evenings and afternoons spending time with friends and family, and our mornings were just for the three of us. Looking back to Friday, here's what we did to pass the three-day weekend:

• The Ann Arbor Fourth of July parade was in the morning. We started out with breakfast and one of our favorite breakfast joints, and then walked down Main St. to the parade. It was a very low budget, local parade, which was just what we were hoping for. Several local political candidates walked the route with a few supporters, there were fire trucks and a school bus from the city, and then random paraders from housing co-ops, preschools and interest groups. You had your Washtenaw County Democrats ("Yaaaaaayyy!!!" said the crowd) and Republicans (the sound of crickets chirping--at least there weren't any boos!). As you can see from our photos, there were horses and ambulances and several other things that Maia could identify from her books, but she's never seen up close. :)
• In the afternoon, we had a cookout with Steve, Jen, Esme, Harper and Laika. The food was wonderful, as it always is when our two families get together to do our thing.
• On Saturday, we did our usual Farmer's Market outing in the morning to get our weekly food, and then had dinner with baby Sam and his parents. It was a wonderful time, again. We're very fortunate to have so many friends who are masterful cooks!
  
• Today, again, it was our usual morning coffee and bagels at Zingerman's, and then a long afternoon of sailing with Nana and Papa. More about that below . . .
  

Papa's sailboat is the perfect size to take out for an afternoon sail, and we were all very excited indeed to go out to Kent Lake, which is ideal for sailboats (they don't allow powerboats to go faster than 10 MPH, which makes for a peaceful experience for the rest of us). Equipped with her life jacket, sun hat, and sunglasses, Maia was ready to try out the unstable sensation of standing on a small boat. I don't think she knew what to make of it at first; she even said "no" a couple of times within the first few seconds of feeling the boat rock slightly as we jumped onto it from the dock. But, as soon as we were moving, she was thrilled!

This will be the boat that we have up at Lake Charlevoix with us in a month, and I'm sure we'll be on it every day during that week.

Maia's new words for the day: jacket, boat, duck (spoken very clearly now, with the /k/ sound at the end--her current favorite phoneme).

From Sailing

Happy Fourth of July!

We're heading out the door in a matter of minutes to ride our bikes downtown, have breakfast, and then watch Ann Arbor's Fourth of July Parade along Liberty St. Then, tonight, we'll cook out with the Fife-Adams family. This long weekend will also include:

• Homemade pizza with friends at their house.
  
• Barbeque with family at our house.

I'm sure a blog entry will follow all this, and I imagine we might take some photos along the way. :) Happy Birthday USA!

(A few hours later: we're home now, so here's a photo from the parade!)

From Fourth of July

Bummer.

This story has me really peeved. Bear with me: this is a bit of a rant, so go ahead and skip it if you're not in the mood to read Cara's rantings about nursing in public . . . :)

So, anyway, this Mom in Tennessee is nursing her infant in the hallway in a courthouse, and apparently someone else in the building has a problem with it. Security is informed, and they ask the mother to nurse somewhere else (apparently offering her the janitor's closet--gross). It's perfectly legal in Tennessee for a woman to nurse an infant under 12 months of age (ahem--more on that later) in public, but, apparently, because someone complained, the courthouse security thought they'd ask Mom to move anyway.

So let me get this straight: she's behaving fully within her legal rights, and still the people who work at a LEGAL SYSTEM building, for goodness sakes, asked her to move? Seriously?? If someone complained that an African-American woman was sitting nearby on a bench in the hallway of that same courthouse, would they ask her to move, too?

(The likely complaint with my comparison would be that one--nursing a baby--is a choice, while the other--one's ethnicity--is not. Substitute any behavior, then, that someone might object to: talking on a cell phone, reading a "controversial" book, speaking a language other than English, wearing religiously-dictated articles of clothing . . .)

Now, thank goodness Tennessee has a law in place explicitly giving her that right (Michigan does not), but what's with the 12-month thing? 12 months is the minimum that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends for the breastfeeding life of a baby. If I were to nurse Maia in public in Tennessee these days, I would be outside of legal protection.

Sigh.

Okay, I got that out of my system for now. :)

Happy Half Birthday to Maia!

Good morning! We've just returned from Maia's 18-month appointment with her pediatrician, and all is very well. (That's pretty much been the way it's gone for all of these appointments . . . nothing exciting to report.) She didn't have any immunizations, which made the whole experience much more pleasant. She's maturning into a typical toddler in that she really has no interest in being touched with the stethoscope or the ear-light-thing or anything along those lines, and so she shed some tears despite the absence of shots. But anyway, here are the vital (?) stats:

Height: 34 inches (98th percentile!)
Weight: 23 lbs, 6.5 oz (about the 40th percentile)
Head circumference: 48.3 cm (90th percentile)

Our ped said that, to get a general picture of things, you can double the height of an 18-month old girl to estimate her adult height. That puts Maia somewhere around the 5' 8" (or so) height as an adult. If that's accurate, she'll be taller than me, which gives me a striking mental image of what teenage Maia might be like. :) Interestingly, you can do the same kind of estimation with a boy's height, but not until the 2-year mark.

The other thing of note at the appointment was Maia's vocabulary. Our Dr. said that the average 18-month old (averaging girls and the--usually--significantly less verbal boys) has about a dozen words. Maia has about 150. So, Maia's vocabulary at this point is off the charts, which is really cool, and it certainly makes our lives easier that she can say so many things. Just in the last half day, she's added the words "pizza" and "Katie" to her list.

Today, after Maia's nap is over and after we've had lunch here at the house, I think that we'll go down to Zingerman's with Aunt Katie to get a half-birthday treat of some sort for Maia. We'll spend some time playing outside and running around downtown, and then return home. I teach my class for kids at the U of M hospital this evening, and then I'll probably drive downtown again to meet Brian, Katie and Maia somewhere (they plan to take the 5-mile bike ride to get there while I'm teaching).

That's all for now! I just thought I'd do the appointment update while I had everything fresh in my mind.

Books

• Brian's reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers.
• I'm reading Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block, and Netherland by Joseph O'Neill.
  
• Maia is reading Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. (This is her "Dada book," though, because she never asks me to read it to her. Only Brian.)

Lots of new pictures today.

I'm not going to write a lot right now, but I did want to mention that we've added a bunch of new photos to the usual site today. Included are: Maia eating beets (what a mess!), our CSA veggies, and fun times at the Ann Arbor Summer Festival (AKA "Top of the Park").

From Summer Festival

My favorite paragraph . . .

. . . in the book I'm finishing tonight, called Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, goes something like this:

"Our culture is not unacquainted with the idea of food as a spiritually loaded commodity. We're just particular about which spiritual arguments we'll accept as valid for declining certain foods. Generally unacceptable reasons: environmental destruction, energy waste, the poisoning of workers. Acceptable: it's prohibited by a holy text. Set down a platter of country ham in front of a rabbi, an imam, and a Buddhist monk, and you may have just conjured three different visions of damnation. Guests with high blood pressure may add a fourth. Is it such a stretch, then, to make moral choices about food based on the global consequences of its production and transport? In a country where 5 percent of the world's population glugs down a quarter of all the fuel, also belching out that much of the world's waste and pollution, we've apparently made big choices about consumption. They could be up for review." (p. 67-68)

It's been a while.

It's been an interesting week here in the Family G household. I was away at the hospital doing my doula gig through the night on Monday and into mid-day yesterday, and so I've been sleeping as much as I can to make up for the missed night, a standard operating procedure for the doulas of the world.

Maia is a wonderful ball of electric toddler energy these days. Thanks to Nana Dawn, she loves to push carts and toy strollers in circles on the first floor of our house in very serious races. She pushes her little cart/wagon thing, and her competition pushes the toy stroller (often with a stuffed monkey or a book as its passenger), and the race goes around and around the house, with the staircase areas serving as the middle of the "O" of the racetrack. There will be much complaining and angst from Maia if you end the race before she's ready; she'll make repeated pleas along the lines of "Mama, push, stroller!" to make her case.

We've noticed that Maia has become quite persistent about her interests lately. Dare we call them daily obsessions? I think so. One hour it will be stroller and cart races. A couple hours later, she'll insist on wearing her sunglasses everywhere (inside, outside, in the car, at a restaurant, on the bike . . .). The next day her thing might be carrying around her little bag of supplies, or wearing her sparkly bead necklaces around her neck everywhere she goes. It makes for an interesting sight, I imagine, for strangers we pass on the street: there's Maia, with her curly hair, bright clothes and Converse tennis shoes, wearing five beaded necklaces, carrying a mini polka-dot lunchbox with a book inside, and perhaps even insisting on her white-plastic-rimmed sunglasses for some extra accessorizing.

She's added a few cool words to her vocabulary recently: straw, beets, polenta, burp, beads (the necklace obsession), plane, Esme, Obama, and meat. As of last count, she had about 140 words in her vocabulary.

Tomorrow is Maia's weekly day with Papa Stan, during which I'll get some time to myself to have coffee, read, get some paperwork done, and pay a visit to my client/family/baby at the hospital. Maia and Papa will probably take a bike ride, have a couple of meals here at home, and go to a park of some sort, with a naptime thrown in there for good measure.

There's more to say, but I'm feeling a bit of extra fatigue sinking in, and so I think it's time to sign-off for now.

Monday night's rally

Now that we've changed our blog format, I now have a place to write about the Obama rally that I attended on Monday! It makes sense here! Yay!

I arrived at Joe Louis Arena at about 6:10 PM, and the speakers were scheduled to start at about 8:30. Security for these types of political events is basically like going through the airport, so I knew that this would not be a fast-moving line. For about 90 minutes, about 20,000 of us waited in various lines outside the arena (thank goodness for good weather!) that snaked for hundreds of yards, up and down all the sidewalks around the Joe.

I'd like to echo a notable thing about the crowd that's been mentioned in all of the news reports: its remarkable diversity in terms of age, race, ethnicity, and gender. (In light of the recent story about the experience of two young Muslim women at this rally, it's clear that not all the volunteers were as thrilled about some aspects of this diversity as most of us attendees were.) It's nothing new for me to note here that Michigan, for the most part, is a very segregated state, racially and ethnically; this rally was something different, and it stood in contrast to the daily realities of life in this state, in which most of us spend our free time surrounded by people who look like us.

I made my way through security and then started trying to figure out a way to get a good view of the stage and podium. After a couple of conversations with a volunteer usher and a Detroit Police officer, I managed to find a spot on the floor of the stadium (where the ice is during hockey season) about 100 feet in front of where Senator Obama (and Gov. Granholm, and Vice President Gore) would be speaking. On various news clips of the event, I haven't seen myself in the crowd facing Obama, but I have been able to find the 6' 6" guy with a toddler in his arms whom I was standing next to.

Now, let's get to the point: what did I think of the rally? Well, not surprisingly, as an ardent Obama supporter, I was thrilled to be there. Senator Obama gave what I imagine was essentially his classic economic stump speech, so the text of the speech itself was nothing new, and thus nothing newsworthy. It's surely not surprising for me to say that he's a remarkably skilled speaker--much better, I think, than Bill Clinton, whom I saw speak in person when he was campaigning in 1992 and 1996. There's something special about Obama's ability to connect with an audience. It's become a familiar thing at his speeches: someone yells out "I LOVE YOU!" and he replies with "I love you back." The crowd, as always, goes wild! There was another moment I recall in which he was gently chastizinig the crowd for booing at the mention of Senator Clinton's name when young man above and to the right of me booed again, and Sen. Obama turned directly to him, pointed to him, and said "I'm talking to you, you up there."

What was remarkable about this event to me, though, was the energy and sense of optimism and connection between the members of the audience. Directly to my left in the audience was an African-American man, probably in his 40s, who had worked on the line with one of the Big Three and had recently lost his job. Directly behind me, another African American man in his 50s, who kept calling family members and friends throughout the speech and holding up his phone to catch the words and the noise of the crowd. The three of us talked a bit here and there, and commented on what was being said. The man behind me helped me find the best angles for my photos, and the three of us yelled out "NO!" together when Obama said that he'd been talking for too long. At one moment in the speech, when Obama was talking about the divisions in our country that so many people are just waiting to exploit, divisions along lines of gender, age and race, he addressed the crowd and said something like "You here, black and white, young and old . . . you can say to them 'not this time!'" The man next to me, to my left, grabbed my hand and raised our hands up towards the lights and the ceiling together, and we both cheered and smiled and, at least to me, it felt like what Obama was saying just might come to pass . . . maybe? Please?

I know that moments like this are the essence of why some people can't stand Senator Obama. They think he is naive, or that he is profoundly manipulative and is getting all of our collective hopes up only to abandon us if he makes it into office. I tend to be a pretty cynical person myself, but I refuse to believe that it must be either naive or diabolical to talk about the potential for some sort of racial, ethnic, religious, and political unity in this country. How pathetic are we, really, if to assert hopefulness along these lines is either dense or evil? Senator Obama doesn't ignore race. He mentions it explicitly, he sensitively and carefully talks about its lasting importance as an issue in our country (as he did in that remarkable speech in March), and then he dares to suggest that maybe we can do better.

The Life and Times of the Family G

So, we've done this to you before, loyal blog readers. We're changing up our blog yet again. Here's what Brian and I were talking about tonight: we love keeping this blog and writing about the Inimitable Maia G, but we've both felt lately that the last couple of months have brought about quite a change in the life of our family. It feels like Maia is almost completely out of her babyhood, and her place in our family life has changed as she's blossomed into a toddler. The three of us have conversations now about our evening plans! Maia likes to joke with us and has familiar refrains in her humor to which she returns again and again. Our family life is about the three of us now, three individuals, rather than two individuals and "a baby" around whom all life seemingly revolves.

And so, what does this mean? Well, we've been maintaining a couple of blogs for a while now; we brought our blog "The Family G" into being a couple of months ago to chronicle our efforts to live a greener life (whatever that means!). We think we'd like to merge these two blogs into one, and just use this space as our everything blog: Maia's toddlerhood, our CSA membership, politics, work, cooking, parties, friends, drum circles, vacations . . . LIFE. :)

You readers out there won't need to change anything; use the same URL that you always have. Our blog title might change, and we might tweak the format a bit, but that's neither here nor there.

Stick around, keep checking-in, and welcome to . . .

The Life and Times of The Family G!

A photo, for now.

Maia's awake and having her breakfast, and we're about to go on a bike ride to get my coffee before Baby Sam comes for his Tuesday visit. But, before all that, here's a photo from the rally I attended at Joe Louis Arena last night:

From Obama

CSA

Now that we're merging blogs, here's a post from Brian from a few days ago that I thought should be on the new blog:

We have been thinking a lot about what the future of this country's food production will look like. As gas prices continue to raise and our energy problems continue to compound, we believe that we are going to see a lot of things change. Georgia peaches won't cost 89 cents a pound anymore. California oranges will be a delicacy on the east coast. Bananas will be all but forgotten. This way of life we have gotten accustomed to over the last 50 years will slowly regress to the times before mass transportation of our foods.

Instead, the local farmer will become important again. The transportation of our food will change from hundreds/thousands of miles to tens of miles. We will know our farmers and our farmers will grow food for us directly. Supermarkets will not be so super any more. At least, this is my vision of what the future of our food/energy pairings will look like. I believe I will see this change in my lifetime and certainly in Maia's.

Enter the CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). The idea here is that you pay the farmer up front for your share of the farm. The farmer now works for you and all the other members of the CSA. Every week, the farmer harvests the food for the members and the members pick the food up. Members enjoy the farmer's bumper crops and share in his bad seasons. It is economical for the members and predictable for the farmer. Overall, it is a great relationship.

CSAs have been around for several years, but they are really gaining popularity lately. We have been toying with idea of joining one for a few years now and have decided to do so this season. It goes like this: We pre-pay for our season up front. Because of our small family, we started with a half share, so we will pick out our produce every other week at the farmers market. The share includes enough produce for a family of four (which is why we purchased a half share) for about $20 per week. This includes eggs every week and honey whenever it is ready. It is difficult to argue that this is an affordable agreement.

We will try it out this year and adjust our habits as need be. We are really excited to try this and hope to continue buying the majority of our produce (during the Michigan growing season, at least) this way.

What "Father" means to us.

• Time. More than anything else, here in our family, "Father" means time. Brian has dedicated his weekends, evenings, nights and mornings to his role as Maia's father. He has given up many of his before-baby hobbies (remember radio-controlled airplanes? Disc golf? Video games?) in the interest in the accumulation of minutes, hours, and days with his daughter.
  
• Reflection. Brian really thinks about the meaning of his role, and the fundamental importance of his choices. He reads books about discipline, toddler behavior, baby sleep, and parenting philosophy. He asks himself the question "Why am I doing what I'm doing, and what message does it send to my daughter and my family?"
• Humor. No one can get Maia to giggle the way Brian can. He just gets her sense of humor, and understands how much she loves to laugh.
• Role-model. Brian knows that his participation in Maia's life in little, seemingly-minor ways is shaping, in part, the adult that she is going to become. She watches his behavior, the ways he treats other people, the choices he makes about how he spends his time, and the ways that his value system infuses his interaction with the world.
• Scientist. Brian is providing Maia with an understanding of an analytical, trial-and-error mode of learning about the world. I love that his brain works this way, because it's helping Maia to learn something that I cannot teach her nearly as well as he can (my brain functions differently). It's not clear yet how Maia is going to tackle the complexities of the world, so thank goodness she can watch how a scientist thinks!
  

Thank you, Brian, for being you. We love you.

Some multi-media

Here is a video we took today of Maia being a toddler and some pictures we took while we were out and about. Also, because of the Google office in Ann Arbor, they scanned the city with "Street View". At the end is a picture of our house from Google maps... creepy.

Enjoy,
--B

From June 11

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Stuff

• This week has ushered in the return of "No!" into Maia's vocabulary. It was on a hiatus for a few months, and, as we've mentioned, we saw "Yeah!" enter her vocabulary recently. Now that she's using both, my goodness does she make her opinions known! :)
• Maia now insists on sitting in regular adult chairs as much as possible. She's still OK with using her high chair at home, but when we're out and about, she wants to be in a regular chair. She's tall enough to make this somewhat feasible even if the restaurant or cafe doesn't have booster seats.
• If she gets a good night of sleep, it appears that Maia is making the typical (for this age) transition from one daytime nap to two. If she doesn't get a good night of sleep, though, all bets are off as to what our schedule will be, and we just fly by the seat of our collective pants during the day!
• New additions to Maia's vocabulary recently: strawberry, bread (the word replacing the sign), dance, truck, elbow, meat, tomato, thank you (another returning phrase that had disappeared for a few months), belt, PJs.

Other than those specific things, we just have a general sense that Maia's going through some sort of major intellectual or emotional upheaval, developmentally-speaking. There's some big stuff going on these days. It's hard to describe where this feeling comes from, but I'll try. Her sleep has been quite disrupted over this last week in a new way; it feels like a new sort of separation anxiety that's growing out of some new developmental milestone that we can't yet pin down. Perhaps she's starting down the road towards weaning herself off of nursing? Or perhaps she's coming into a new sense of self, a new understanding of what it means to be a toddler in the world. Maybe another language explosion is right around the corner? It's hard to say.

Summer Monday

From Bike Ride

Maia and I achieved something cool today: we ran all of our errands and had an ordinary Monday routine without getting into the car once! :) We had some time at home with baby Sam this morning, then we went to the bank (about 2 miles from our house) and to Dairy Queen (about 4 miles away) on our bikes. Brian came along for that last excursion after he came home from work for the day. The weather was hot and humid, but once we got moving on the bike, the wind made it more than bearable . . . it was even pleasant!

So, many of you out there probably know that I really dread this hot, sticky summer weather; it was about 90 degrees here today, the kind of day a friend of mine from college once described as "like walking into someone's mouth." Ick. Anyway, we've (reluctantly) started running our AC, mainly to make it possible for us to sleep at night. So, as our energy use and thus our carbon footprint climbs with the use of the AC, I thought we'd try to cut down on our consumption somewhere else. Driving less seems like the perfect solution, but I've had to quickly get over my disgust for summer weather.

It really hasn't been that difficult, which surprises me. I guess this is one of those little things that's changed about me since I became Maia's Mama. I know that it's best for both of us if we spend more time outside and less time driving around in the car, and I know that both of these things are good habits for her to have as she grows older. So, there you are. Somehow, the fact that I'm changing my behavior for someone else's sake makes it easier than simply changing it for my own. Perhaps that's sad . . . but perhaps it's not. It is what it is, you know?

Jammin' with the F-A

We spent the evening with Jen, Steve, Hanna, Harper and Esme last night. What a great time! I started a Boston butt around 9:00 AM in the smoker, and it came out with PERFECT consistency around 6:30. Steve showed up with the kids and Hanna around 5:00 where the Dads watched the kids until the moms got out of their Lamaze meeting around 7:00. We feasted on pulled pork, corn pudding, spinach salad, coleslaw and strawberry shortcake. Esme enjoyed her "pink drink", a concoction I made from strawberries and rhubarb (recipe to follow).

It was a fantastic collaborative meal, one that the Genisios and the F-A family have gotten to enjoy in the past year. They are a really good family to know, and we ALWAYS have a good time with them.

Harper, Esme and Maia rocked out to Taj Mahal's kids album while Hanna (their foreign exchange student from Germany) played along on the bongos. The bongos morphed slowly into a full-on drum circle. Everyone had an instrument... wood blocks, drums, shakers, and toy xylophone got everyone jamming! The youngest kids, Harper and Maia, seemed to enjoy this the most. It was great to see Maia playing the xylophone and laughing while we all made rhythm together. It was a blast. We have some pictures, but they were taken near the end of our 45 minute jam session, so they don't really capture the fun.

By the end, all the kids were tired (so were the parents) and we parted ways. It was a good night.



Recipe for Rhubarb-Ade (aka Princess Esme's Pink Drink):

1 bunch of rhubarb
5-10 strawberries
Sugar to taste

1. Chop the rhubarb and take the tops off the strawberries. Put them in a food processor and puree (about 60 seconds)
2. Pour half of the puree on to a coffee filter and wrap it like a ball. Wrap the coffee filter ball with cheese cloth. Wring it out until all liquid has been expressed. Discard the pulp.
3. Mix with water at a 3:1 ratio (water:juice). Sweeten with sugar. About 1/2 cup is a good start for 8 cups. Add more to taste if necessary.
4. Chill the juice in a pitcher and server cold

A conversation with Esme

While talking with Esme's Dad, Steve, about Sen. Clinton's concession speech . . .
Esme: "Stop talking about that! It's making me angry!"
Me: "Are you going to support Obama now?"
Esme: "Well, I guess I'll have to."
Me: "Well, you could support McCain."
Esme: "No, I hate Republicans!"

Esme is a family friend of ours. She's five years old.

I'm proud of us today.

**** For those readers out there who'd rather not read about politics, move on and read elsewhere. But I'm taking a different tack today. ****

From everything I've read on my usual political news sites and blogs this morning, Barack Obama is set to reach the designated number of delegates he needs to earn the Democratic nomination either today or tomorrow.

This blog is entitled "The Life and Times of Maia G," and it's generally very self-absorbed on our part ("us" being the Family G, the three of us). That's the point of it, after all, and I make no apologies.

But today, I feel like circumstances call for something else. I'm feeling immensely proud today. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling like maybe, just maybe, the country that Maia grows up in might have undergone some significant, seismic changes from the one that I've known. Perhaps there are readers out there who don't agree, or don't care. Well, then, you can know for sure that I'll be volunteering this summer and fall, calling my neighbors across the state and leaving leaflets in their doors, and my efforts will compensate for your efforts on the other side, or for your indifference.

Maia will be coming with me on many of these outings, I'm sure, and so it's possible that one of her first memories might be of a rally, or a conversation on a stranger's doorstep, or a parade down a city street. The thought of this makes me quietly happy and hopeful.

Perhaps the results in November won't come out as I hope. I'm used to that, and I can get through another heartbreaking election night. But, until then, I'm going to feel proud and energized and dedicated and hopeful, and if there are enough people out there who are feeling things like this today, maybe our efforts over the next few months will be just the preventative medicine we need to fight off another heartbreak.

(Gingerly stepping off my soapbox and ducking the rotten tomatoes . . .)

Odds and ends

More two-word phrases from Maia:

• "Dada/Mama, bike!" (When she sees either of our bikes in the garage.)
• "Dada/Mama, swing!" (When she wants one of us to get on the swing next to her.)
• "Dada/Mama, help!"
• "Dada/Mama, more!"

Another cool development this weekend was the beginning of Maia's ability to verbally identify herself. She says "Mai-Mai" or "Mah-nee" to refer to herself while proudly patting herself on the chest. This initially caused some confusion on Mom and Dad's part, because "mah-nee" is very similar to her pronunciation of "banana"--it's all about context! :)

Maia's had a bit of a temperature off and on for the last couple of days, but she's really not showing any other symptoms other than a bit of crankiness. Still, her temp topped-out at 104.1 degrees today. Yikes. I've had a cold/cough/congestion thing since Friday evening, so our guess is that Maia is fighting that off (with the help of my milk's antibodies--yay to toddler nursing!).

Other than that, all there's left to say is "Happy First Birthday!" to Maia's cousin, Matthew! :) And happy seventeen-monthday to Maia tomorrow.

Pictures of our backyard.

By popular demand, here are some pictures of the landscaping we did on the backyard last weekend. We flattened out the space immediately behind the house, made the ground suitable for planting, added mulch and pea gravel (under the cooking implements), and planted flowers, herbs, and tomatoes.

From Backyard Land...

Holiday weekend, part deux.

OK, it's the narrative version this time. We had a very busy weekend that's left us completely exhausted. After Maia went to bed at about 8:15 this evening, Brian and I basically collapsed in front of the TV to watch "Iron Chef" on our DVR; it was just the recharging we needed. I just finished writing a couple of work-related e-mails, and Brian is watching the movie 300, I think.

On Saturday, we started the weekend with much of our usual routine: the Farmer's Market, coffee and bagels, and some random errands that needed to get done before our big yard work adventure on Sunday. Nana and Papa Hecker arrived around dinnertime, and Brian and I left for the evening for our belated anniversary dinner out. Before our 8:30 dinner reservation, we just sat outside at a table at our favorite coffee shop (Sweetwater's on Washington St.) and talked for about two hours before it was time to eat. It reminded us both of some parts of our old routine, our pre-Maia years when we could spend three hours at a coffee shop, just reading and talking.

Then, on Sunday morning, after breakfast with Nana and Papa at Zingerman's (they stayed overnight), we bought the works for our backyard project: flowers, mulch, pea gravel, potting soil, edging stones, tomato plants, herbs, etc., etc. (Thanks to the government for the economic stimulus! I hope that President Bush likes our tomatoes.) From 11:00 AM until about 8:00 PM, the four of us worked on fixing-up our backyard and making it a more pleasant space, and I think we succeeded. Also, Brian brought out his backyard BBQ smoker for its inaugural run this year; we had pulled pork sandwiches with a North Carolina style sauce.

Brian and I finished the backyard job this morning during Maia's nap, and then we went to Kensington Metropark for an eight-mile bike ride around the lake and some play time at the playground. Another Kensington Park highlight was the very tall tree in the "nature preserve" area of the park with the top branches occupied by nesting Great Blue Herons. It was amazing! We could only see the silhouettes of the herons against the sky, but we could distinguish the adults from the young ones by the awkward way that the youngsters flapped their wings. There were probably a dozen of them in their huge nests of sticks and branches along one side of the tree.

So now, we are exhausted.

How did Maia fit into all this? She helped plant tomatoes, played with some water, pans, and cups, enjoyed her BBQ sandwich and red cabbage coleslaw, and went for a couple of bike rides with Nana and Papa in her PJs! :) She got five outfits dirty in two days, ate dirt at least twice, and she learned to say the words "push" (as in the cart at Home Depot) and "dirt" (as in her new favorite food). In just about three days, her vocabulary has gone up from about 85 words to about 100.

On the way home from our ice cream outing just before bedtime, Brian summed up our weekend with Maia this way, only half-jokingly: "It's just hard to explain to everyone that she really is the world's most awesome kid, literally. You know, you really can't make someone else understand that!" :) Yeah, we're those parents.

Holiday weekend.

From Memorial Day ...

Hello blog readers! We're winding down now after a long holiday weekend; our weekend was full of outdoor activities and lots of exercise, which has left us tired and sore (but in a good way!).

We have one more thing to go: ice cream at the Dairy Queen on Packard Rd. Then, later this evening, there will be a longer post to come, most likely.

Checking in.

We've had a lot of blog posts recently with some new photos and brief updates, but I thought I'd add one here in which I try to get some things down in text that will help me remember what Maia is like these days.

First, a very notable aspect of Maia's "Maia-ness" these days is her talking. Just this week, she added the ridiculously cute nod of her head to indicate "yes," and yesterday she started saying "Yeah!" to go along with it. Now, granted, it seemed at first that if you asked her anything in a question intonation, she'd respond with a nod and a "yeah" (which has been quite humorous to experiment with over the last couple of days), but she's not using it in such a generalized way today.

It's just really neat for her to be capable of some new things with her language these days. Just this morning, she was walking around in circles in the family room, obviously looking for something. Then, she said "stroller," and I was able to step in and help her find her toy stroller (a garage sale purchase for $1.00, and her current favorite). Throughout the day, she will often go through the list of people whose names she knows, and I can tell her what each of those people is doing at the time--Dada is at work, Harper is at her house, Nana is at work in East Lansing, etc. I love these peeks into her thought processes that I'm able to get thanks to her language, and how clear it is now that she's able to think of things and people when they're not immediately in front of her.

Maia's "dictionary" of words that she's capable of speaking at this point is at around 90; I know that her receptive language is much broader than that, but I'm just keeping track of the expressive side of it now, for memory's sake.

Our days generally follow a pattern something like this: after Maia wakes up, nurses, and has breakfast, we go out to a coffee shop OR take a walk outside if I've brewed my morning coffee here at home. We stay out for a while, until about 10:00 AM when she has her first nap. Then, the middle of the day works in a similar pattern: Maia wakes up, nurses, has lunch, and then we go out again, generally to a park this time. At about 3:00, Maia takes her second nap, and then Brian, Maia and I have dinner together and then go for a long bike ride or walk after dinner. She usually sleeps from about 8:00 PM until 7:00 AM, with one nursing session at about 4:00 in the morning. In the midst of all this, we find times during the week to visit with friends, go to the library, get errands done, and enjoy as much of this gorgeously cool spring weather as we can. :)

Brian and I are both reading the Dr. Sears book on discipline; we've both had the feeling lately that because Maia is clearly leaving babyhood behind and sprinting into toddlerhood, we should really try to craft a philosophy of discipline to be certain that we're on the same page (as much as we can, that is). Now, of course, as most child psychologists emphasize over and over again, "discipline" and "punishment" are not the same thing; we're really thinking about self-discipline here, along with self-confidence and self-esteem. How do you help a child develop these things? I certainly have my thoughts about this because of my history of classroom teaching, but after spending more than a year here at home with Maia, it's crystal clear to me that classroom discipline and parental discipline are light-years apart. The fact that I have a philosophy and method for one contributes very little to how effective I will be at the other. At least, that's my opinion!

What else? Well, Maia is learning to eat with a fork and spoon, which is messy beyond belief and really funny. Whenever she has a meal now, she insists on having her bowl and spoon, regardless of how successfully she uses them. She seems to prefer her foods with lots of flavors mixed-up; she'd rather have some Bolognese sauce than chicken strips, and would prefer mjadara over macaroni and cheese. She's still nursing about four times a day, but I'd estimate that about 80-90% of her calories are coming from solid foods these days. Nursing is almost entirely a source of emotional comfort and social connection now, which is precisely why I wanted to keep nursing her as a toddler. It's really precious, calm, quiet time. I'm really thankful for all the Moms of nursing toddlers whom I know and with whom I can commiserate about some of the quirky aspects of parenting a nursing toddler. According to some statistics I've seen, only about 2-5% of toddlers still are nursing in the U.S. at 18 months of age, but I'm lucky to know several people personally who are a part of this statistically-unusual group. Maia and I aren't the exception, which is nice! :)

That's about all for now. It's getting late, and I have some things to do for work.

Photo opportunity.

Maia and I took advantage of the beautiful evening light (anyone else notice it just now?) to take some pictures in the backyard. This also had the side-effect of getting our busy toddler out from underfoot while Brian was making dinner. Two birds with one stone . . .

From Backyard Evening

Art Fair

We went to East Lansing today. What did we do?

• Went to the East Lansing Art Fair. Much smaller and more manageable than Ann Arbor's. We ate red beans and rice, gumbo, and jambalaya for a snack (Maia enjoyed all three), and then looked at all of the booths and tents that line the streets of downtown and MSU's campus.
• Wandered around in the Beaumont Tower area of MSU's campus. Maia likes fountains, so we hung out by the library fountain for a bit. She tossed pennies and a couple of nickels into the fountain and splashed her hands in the very cold water.
  
• We spent some time sitting on the ground, as directed by Maia. Here's how she does it: she'll say your name (as in "Mama" or "Nana" or whatever), and then, after you respond with a "Yes, Maia?" she'll say "sit!" Her pronunciation of "sit" at this time actually sounds something like "zeet!" In our house, her favorite spot for this whole sitting endeavor is on the step leading from our kitchen into the family room.

From East Lansing ...

Sam and Maia

We've been really lucky to have time with Sam (whose birth I was present for--one of my life's highlights) these past couple of weeks on Tuesdays, and we will continue to see him weekly through June.

Maia says "baby!" over and over again whenever Sam is around, and today she began proudly identifying his nose, mouth, feet, ears, etc. (She's definitely into the naming-parts phase of verbal and intellectual development at the moment.) You can see her pointing to Sam's nose and mouth in a couple of the photos I posted.

From Maia and Sam

We took a long, beautiful walk around the block (Maia in the stroller, Sam in the baby carrier--how do parents of two kids ever survive without a baby carrier?) and then Maia decided it was time for Sam to read a couple of books once we were back in the house.

PANTS ON MY HEAD!!!!!

The title says it all...

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

It's a good day around here. After a beautiful day of outside time yesterday, we are spending much this rainy day inside. We started with a breakfast at Angelo's (one of Cara's favorite breakfast joints) and now we are relaxing while Maia naps. It is well needed, as this kid is high energy when she is awake these days... which makes me appreciate Cara even more on this Mother's day.

Maia is a beautiful kid, but she is exhausting. I know this is nothing out of the ordinary, but it is still a lot of work for us. Cara has made the decision to stay home with Maia for as long as we can manage and this has a lot of implications. It means that she manages Maia's energy level every day which must be exhausting. When it comes time for Maia's nap time, she spends her time cleaning the house and keeping things in order. On many nights and weekend days, she is out teaching Lamaze classes or working with Doula clients, making it possible for her to stay home with Maia.

I can't express how much I appreciate everything she does. Maia is a strong, confidant girl and I can only attribute that to the work Cara has put in to raising Maia. From Maia's perspective, things are a bit different, though. Mom is the one who cuddles (snorgles) with her and gives her milk. She is the one who gives her baths (she loves baths and asks for every night) and makes her feel most secure. When Maia is scared, she wants Mama. When she is sad, she wants Mama. When she wakes up in the morning, she wants Mama. Mama takes her downtown to see the world and takes her to parks in the afternoon. Mama takes her to book stores and libraries to play. Mama takes her to Zingerman's for treats. Mama is her everything. Don't get me wrong, I am not absent here, but when it comes to the one who Maia best connects with, it is undeniable that it is Cara.

It turns out that in addition to today being Mother's Day, today is also our 6 year anniversary together. It is interesting to look back at who we were 2 years ago. Having a baby has certainly changed our relationship. In some ways it has been really good, and in others, not so good. But in all, I can confidently say that we are a different, better couple than we were 2 years ago. We don't do a lot of the things we used to do together... but we have new things that we love to do now. I love Cara with everything I have. When I go over the previous list of things that Maia sees in Cara, I can't help but have a very similar list! (minus the milk and bathing, of course)

I could go on about my sappy feelings for Cara, but I will hold them back... I don't want to sicken everyone... but you get the drift. I love and appreciate Cara with everything I have.

Finally, I want to give a shout out to all the other mothers in my life.
Happy Mother's Day to my Mom (Debi) and my two Grandmothers.
Happy Mother's Day to Dawn and Cara's Grandmother.
Happy Mother's Day to my sister Laurie. It is her first Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day to our friends (Lesley, Jen FA, Jen C, Kitty, Kelly, Terry, Dana)
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms Cara has taught or been a Doula for

On being Maia's Mama

From May 4

Brian, Maia and I had a full Saturday in this beautiful, sunny spring weather. I taught a class this morning but was finished by 11:00 AM, after which the three of us went to the Farmer's Market (as always) and Zingerman's (again, not unusual). The real treat for this morning's routine, however, was that we were joined by Jen and Harper! Both the market and deli were insanely busy (Oprah featured Zingerman's on Friday's show--no, Maia didn't make the cut--and so the deli was experiencing the "Oprah effect"), but we all still managed to enjoy our sandwiches and fresh asparagus and chocolate chunk cookies. Maia and Harper spent some time hugging each other, which mainly consists of bumping their foreheads together and grabbing onto each other to avoid falling down. :)

Then, this evening, the three of us took a 10-mile round trip bike ride downtown for ice cream and exercise. Sounds like those two things might cancel each other out, huh? Hmm. Anyway, Maia got a case of the sillies upon our return, and so we took some photos of her flinging herself around in her crib as we were trying to get her PJs on. She's our little stringbean, as evidenced by the photo where you can totally see her ribs! She's asleep now, after a long, sunny day with a lot of time outside.

Tomorrow is my second Mother's Day as Maia's Mama, and I think we're going to celebrate with breakfast downtown somewhere. Then, surely another bike ride will follow, and then Papa Stan is driving out here to chill with Maia and do her evening routine with her while Brian and I go to a coffee shop to read and do NOTHING. It's going to be great! :)

So, some thoughts on this Mother's Day. First things first: that term "role model" means an entirely different thing now! For the most part, I am with Maia during all her waking moments. To a significant degree, my behavior and my choices are her frame of reference for how to be in the world, and how to interact with it. That reality demands that I be reflective. It demands that I examine my own ways of getting through life. I've always been a pretty reflective person, but now those habits of mind have some urgency to them. Just in the past few days, here are some of the things that I've had to reflect on along these lines:

• Building new habits to avoid living a sedentary suburban life (as much as I can here in the suburbs!).
• What does "empathy" really mean, in everyday practice?
  
• What does it mean to be political? Why does it matter that my daughter sees me as a political person?
• The revised Golden Rule: Treat others the way they want to be treated!
• Managing difficulty: How can I help Maia be resilient?
• What cultural values and biases do I (a highly-educated, white, Midwestern, suburban female) present to my daughter as "normal" which might be particular challenges in the world that she's going to inherit? In other words, what is she going to have to un-learn to be able to get along in the world? Is there any way to guess?

I really love thinking about all of these things; spending time reading and thinking along some of these lines has made me feel more engaged with the world. I really dig that.

Second, along these "why it's cool to be Maia's Mommy" lines: our toddler is growing into a person who seems so very pleased with defying expectations. Remember the days when she was a mellow, go-with-the-flow, "easy" baby? Well, as I've written here before, those days are over. She lives life with a gleam in her eye, and while her spirit often makes us laugh out loud (this morning, for example, she said "butt" and then "poo poo" and then loaded up her diaper not 20 seconds later), it also can challenge those visions I had in my head of how calm and serene her toddlerhood was going to be. She's already started stomping her feet in disgust when she has to stop an activity before she's ready, and she's even employed the "Fine, I'll throw myself backwards out of your arms, then!" tactic when she's really displeased.

She has bruises up and down her shins from her playground adventures, and today she needed a bath because she had chicken in her hair. Her vocabulary is so wide-ranging that we've stopped keeping track; she's started putting pairs of words together into phrases, such as "Night-night, Mama" and "bike ride." She's speaking with new clarity, in many cases; this week the words "baby" and "flower" came out of her mouth very clearly and concisely. And she has a favorite joke, which is to lay down in inappropriate, incongruous places and say "night-night," all the while with an enormous, devilish grin on her face. Recent favorite night-night spots include the sidewalk in front of our house, on top of a playground climbing structure, and on Zingerman's patio.

This is the person who's challenging me to adapt, to reflect on who I am and what my expectations are. There's some really good karma out there in the universe, because I ended up as Maia's Mama.

(And finally, for the sake of recording a momentous thing in our blog . . . YAY OBAMA!!!!! Okay, I got that out of my system. At least until November . . . knock on wood.)

This weekend

First, I'll open with a funny-and-yet-useful development in Maia's verbal skills: just after she finished her breakfast this morning, she was walking around in the kitchen in her striped PJs. Seemingly out of nowhere, she said "Poo poo!" (which comes out sounding like "boo boo"), and just kept on walking. Brian picked her up and did the baby behind sniff (that we all SWORE we wouldn't do when we became parents!), and yes, she'd loaded up her diaper. Hilarious? Yes. Practical? Indeed.

We spent as much time outside this weekend as we could. It began with our usual Saturday morning outing to the market and Zingerman's for bagels. I had a work-related meeting on Saturday afternoon, and then the three of us finished our grocery shopping after my meeting.

Today was a full day of soaking up the Vitamin D in the sunshine. This morning, we went for coffee on State Street and then made our way across the way to walk around on campus. The students have departed for the summer, which means that there is parking available downtown and tables open at the coffeeshops again. I'm not one of those college-town "townies" who celebrates the moment that the students leave town after finals; after growing up in East Lansing and then living in Bloomington and Ann Arbor, I really think that the students are a fundamentally vital part to the fabric and rhythm of life in these places. But, on the other hand, it's nice to have a bit more space. At least until Art Fair.

Anyway, as you can see from the photos, Maia wandered around on the green lawns, tossed change into the fountain, and gave the tulips a sniff (prompted by Dada).

Then, this afternoon, we drove out to West Bloomfield to visit our friends Jeff, Kelly, Ana and (seven-week-old) Hugo. Maia and Ana were so very toddler-like together: the only truly desirable toy was the one that the other person was playing with. Baby Hugo slept soundly the entire visit; here's hoping that some of that solid, deep sleep moves into the nighttime soon, for Jeff and Kelly's sake!

Maia's growing into a rough-and-tumble, fearless little girl. Every time we get into the car, she begins to say "play! Play!" I like to take this as a sign that we're successfully getting her out into the world, and helping her learn that the world out there is a wide-open place with all kinds of adventures to be had. When we go to Kerrytown Market, she immediately makes for the stairs and starts climbing. When we go to a playground, she finds her way to the tallest slide there. Today, on campus, she would have leapt into the fountain if Brian wasn't there to hold her back.

As our friend Jen so astutely observed: "Maia lives life with gusto."

A busy day with lots of photos!

A more detailed post will come later. For now, here are some new pictures from our busy Sunday:

From May 4

From Maia and Ana

Weekend Update (a little bit late)

Hello everyone! Maia's gone down for her third (!) nap today--she probably won't really sleep, but being up and about sure is making her cranky. I think that she's still recovering from a weekend full of people and places and driving here-and-there. We went to Portage on Saturday morning to visit with Grandma and Grandpa G, as well as Maia's Aunt, Uncle and Cousin. Before we arrived in Portage, however, we went to the Binder Park Zoo in Battle Creek (a place that I visited plenty of times with Grandpa Bill and Grandma Donna when I was a kid).

Maia seemed fascinated with and confused by all the new animals whom she met at the zoo. She barked at the kangaroos, made her duck "quack!" at the peacocks and had no idea what to make of the giraffes. She also identified both the red panda and the pygmy goats as "Ma-Mo" (Mona). It's another peek into the brain of a person trying to organize the world into categories and things that she can understand.

We spent the night at Grandma and Grandpa G's house, where Maia (thankfully!) had the best night of sleep that she's had out of our house since . . . who knows when? She did wake up a couple of times, but we were thinking that it would be significantly more challenging than that. On Sunday morning, we went to another beautiful, big park in Kalamazoo, where Maia fed the geese and said "goose" for the first time.

New words: veggies, diaper, cart (referring to anything with wheels that's not a bike or car), bite, cookie, milk (she's been signing it for months, but now uses the word, too), ear, mouth, nose, feet . . . some others that I'm forgetting.

From Late April

The brain of a toddler

I was feeding Maia a (veggie) hot dog last night for dinner for the first time. She started asking for it by the name "Mamo" which is her name for "Mona" who (for those who don't know) is our dog. I loved the leap that her brain made... though I must assume she hasn't made the connection to what it actually means to be eating Mona.

I got a kick out of it.

New words today

Slide, Eat, Blue (she's starting to learn her colors!), Pants, Fry (a favorite food, despite our efforts to the contrary).

Brian and I realized today that we're getting to the point where we're not able to keep track of Maia's words unless we write them down. So, I know that these posts probably aren't particularly interesting to read; they're more for the purpose of recording things just for the sake of it. I'll probably cease and desist with these kinds of "new words today" posts pretty soon here, because we're just not really able to recall them all anymore. Talk about a language explosion! :)

A moment at the park this morning: Maia was playing with a one-year-old girl who also knows some "words" through sign language. The other little girl signed "help" to her Mama, which looks similar to the sign for "coat." Maia watched the exchange between Mama and baby, and signed "coat" in return. It was almost like she was trying to say "Hey, I know what you're talking about!"

Stuff

Hello everyone! Happy Wednesday.

This essay was something I found on one of the websites that I read occasionally. The author's sentiments echo many of the things that I've thought over the last year. As many of our blog readers know, Brian and I are pretty sure (maybe 80%?) that Maia's going to be the only child in our family. The reactions that we get to that information (when we choose to share it) are various and quite interesting. I think that this writer very nicely explains what it feels like to be absolutely positive that you want to have one child, and (almost) absolutely positive that you don't want another. And no, it has nothing to do with the challenges of having an infant in the house, or the physical and emotional undertaking that is labor (I'd do that again tomorrow if someone would let me! Just let me get a good night's sleep first . . .).

In other news, Maia had her last swimming class at the YMCA with Brian on Monday. They'll probably sign up for another session coming up soon, but Maia's graduated from the Beginner class for now! Yay! I got to go and take some pictures this time; I usually teach a childbirth class on Mondays, but this time around my class is on Wednesdays instead. It was a treat to go to watch Maia enjoy the pool. As you can see from the photos, she takes the whole process quite seriously, but she really enjoys it and seems eager to get in the water as soon as she can. I can't wait to take her to Lake Charlevoix with my family in August!

From Swimming Class

A quick post

In honor of Earth Day tomorrow, Maia and I are going to learn how to use the Ann Arbor bus system today!

New Maia words today: flower, shirt.

Nowhere we'd rather be,

Tia Jo recently wrote a post in her blog about her current infatuation with living in New York, and I found it quite inspiring and invigorating to read. This morning, as the three of us got our spring greens, eggs, and meat from the Farmer's Market, I must concur with Jo: it feels really wonderful to love where you live!

Joanna's hometown is hosting the Pope at the moment, and ours happens to be hosting the Dalai Lama. Coincidence?? Well, yes. But anyway, I know that Brian and I both have written a few times recently about how thrilled we are to see the return of warm weather and sunshine, but it's more than that. The return of spring brings our community alive again in ways that are fundamentally important to why we worked hard to move here in the first place. The market this morning was filled with children of all ages (two of whom I "met" in-utero when their parents attended my childbirth classes!), the deli's patio was more crowded than the seating area inside, and Maia had ample opportunities to use one of her new favorite words: "Bike!" (Lots of families had ridden their bikes downtown, and they were parked all along the sidewalks.)

I really treasure the feeling of living in a place where there is a significant pride in and regard for the community. As opposed to some other places where I've lived and visited, a large percentage of the people here seem to care about local issues and about the quality of life. There were several people surrounding the Farmer's Market with petitions in-hand, asking voters to add signatures to this potential ballot issue or that candidate's run for local office. There's an engagement here with having a vibrant downtown that isn't drained of its life by big-box stores on the outskirts.

Driving back home through our neighborhood, many of our neighbors are doing yard work right now as I write this, and many others are walking along the streets with their kids on bikes and in strollers. I know that our subdivision is nothing special (it's typical American suburbia, except for the ethnic and cultural diversity of its residents), but today it feels like a great place to call "home," as opposed to the slushy, gray, cold winter days when the streets aren't plowed and no one is outside.

New words this week

Harper (Maia's best friend's name), chair, hat, poo poo, butt (yeah, the potty mouth has begun!), eye, tree . . . maybe a couple others that I'm forgetting?

All in all, counting the words, signs, and animal noises (all of which are in a broad category of "words" for a toddler), Maia has something like 55 things that she's able to say. :) Some of them (like the sign for "more" or the phrase "Thank you") have fallen out of her lexicon and aren't used frequently at all, but she still has about 50 that she's using on a regular basis.

Phew. To think she just started this with her dog bark at about 9 months of age!

Sunny Maia

From Sunny April Day

I added just a few photos that we took outside yesterday. Our grass is getting greener, the tulips in front of the house are getting ready to bloom, and all is well in this little corner of the world. :) We are all so happy that the weather is warmer. Brian's taken Maia on a couple of bike rides around the neighborhood, and she's becoming quite proficient at going down the slides at the park just down the street from the house.

We saw the pediatrician this morning for Maia's 15-month visit, and, aside from a bit of residual post-nasal drip from a cold she's had this week, all is well. She continues to be really tall for her age (about the 90th percentile), and a bit skinny (about the 40th). Our doctor was also quite surprised when I went through Maia's list of words; she says that it sounds like Maia's really verbal for her age, which wasn't a surprise to hear for those of us who spend time listening to her chatter all day. :)

This morning, as we were waiting for the nurse to give her the two immunizations that were on the schedule this month, Maia was looking around the exam room and saying her favorite three-word sentence, "It's a book!" or "It's a box!". Although she knows that "book" and "box" are words that signify an object in the world, I don't think that she realizes that "it's" and "a" are also words--I think that those two are more mimicry of a sound pattern that she hears adults saying. I was trying to get a video of her saying that sentence yesterday, but, of course, she wasn't interested in cooperating.

I feel like I've made a shift in my parenting style that makes life quite a bit more relaxing. We don't really have any What to Expect-type books for the toddler years, and the e-mail newsletter that focuses on toddler development inevitably just gets deleted from my inbox every week rather than read. There really isn't much of the first-year anxiety anymore about when Maia's meeting various milestones. In large part, I know that this is because we've been extremely fortunate in that Maia's development has been at a very normal rate thus far, and so we haven't been conditioned to feel concerned. But, even with that, I think that there are things now that we experience as an ordinary part of parenthood (a 101-degree fever, a drop in her weight percentile, a week-long cough) that would have worried me much more several months ago than they do now.

This afternoon, Maia will have time to play at the park with her best friend Harper (whose name she recognizes, and hearing it always makes her smile). Maybe after dinner Brian and Maia and I will go out to get our first ice cream cones of the year, and wander around campus and downtown a bit? We'll see. My impulse is to be outside as much as I possibly can.

An interesting new book I'm reading: Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community.

Happy Monday!

It's a beautifully sunny day outside, and Maia and I are enjoying it together. The family for whom I did my doula work back in February very generously gave me a gift certificate to Zingerman's, so Maia and I went over there earlier this afternoon to share a BLT, a pickle, and some applesauce. While we were there, she walked all over their patio area, greeted a couple of dogs who were hanging out with their people, and insisted on climbing all the staircases that she could find.

Brian called us from his layover at O'Hare, and Maia held onto the phone and said "Hi" and "Dada!" His return trip seems to be going smoothly so far, so we're going to leave and go get him at the airport in about 45 minutes. Maia's taking a brief nap right now so she'll be all charged-up and ready to play outside once Brian's back home with us.

She's had a couple of new words over the last days: box, socks, down, book and shoe (more-refined versions of the last two; they've been in her repertoire for a while, but they're much more clear now). I would say from that list that she's working on the /o/ sound, but, because it's a vowel, the sound isn't consistent from word to word. But, maybe there's something about the "o" shape to her mouth that she's finding interesting right now, and she's practicing the sounds that go with it. Also, her "It's a _____." sentence is really cute and oft-repeated around here. The sentence "It's a ball" seems to be her go-to phrase for the coolest thing that one can possibly say in the English language!

What did we do today?

• Maia reminded herself that she's cool with this whole "walking" thing, after a fall yesterday that resulted in a bump on the back of the head.
  
• We went to Angelo's for breakfast, where Maia did her usual: refused all breakfast foods at first, gleefully flinging them on the floor . . . "But wait (she says), Nana Dawn and Papa Stan are eating. Let me have some!"
• Maia walked around the mall's play area, which is a welcome place to blow off some steam on a rainy, yucky day.
• Nana Dawn gave Maia a bath.
• She's starting to say this cute sentence, which is "It's a _____." Usually she says "It's a ball," but today she also said "It's a cup" and "It's a bubble."
• She's clearly turned "Papa" (as in Papa Stan) into "Baba." So now, just in case you're wondering, Papa Stan's calling himself "Bubba."
• I think that she thinks a phone is called a "hi." Makes sense, doesn't it? We pick it up and say "Hi" or "Hello." Anyway, her friend Harper let her borrow a play phone, and Maia's a pro at putting it up to her ear and saying "Hi!" Today, at one point in the car, she was sitting in her car seat, holding Nana's cell phone up to her ear in one hand, and her water cup in the other.
  

Maia on Her Own

We have had some requests for more video, so here we are! We took the camera out with us on this beautiful spring day. I got a lot of footage of her walking all over the place, but this one was the most fun. She had her mind set on a balloon ahead of her, which is why you can see her signing "ball" as she walks.

New words today

One of her favorite foods, "cracker," and "Papa" for Papa Stan. :) Oh, also, she says "up" and "down" now to tell us where she'd like to be.

What are we up to this week?

Happy April Fool's Day, everyone! I'm not feeling witty enough to come up with a silly April Fool's post, so here goes more of the usual:

Maia's walking skills have increased (seemingly) exponentially over the last few days. Her first bona fide walking adventures were on the day we posted that video with her in the blue shirt (the earlier video was more walking "by accident"); that was last Thursday. By Saturday, she was walking circles around the house for 20, 25, 30 feet at a stretch. This is how Maia seems to work in terms of her physical development: she waits until she's quite confident with something before really going out on a limb and giving it the old college try.

We've also noticed that this transition to having a walking kid around the house isn't as hard as we thought it would be in terms of keeping her out of things. Several months ago, on that first day that she really, confidently crawled forward, she confidently and deliberately pulled herself up to a stand. So, really, whenever we've had a moving baby, we've had a standing baby. We child-proofed the cupboard doors in the kitchen, and we make sure that the basement door is always closed, but, other than that, things are pretty much just as they always have been around here. That's been surprisingly non-eventful.

Today, Nana Dawn visited for the whole day, during which we went to a coffee shop on Main St. and Maia walked up to a stranger's table and begged for her to share some of her pastry.

I'm reading David McCullough's biography of John Adams. This is somewhat off the beaten path for me, but I realized (with some embarrassment) that my knowledge of the so-called "Founding Fathers" isn't as solid as it should be. So, in honor of the election year . . . let's try to address that deficit!